he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
