Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
