ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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