is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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