oh god the rape fog is back!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
