I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
