so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
