Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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