Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
