So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
