Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
