Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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