Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
