I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
