I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
