I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
