remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
