Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
