Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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