big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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