Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
