You're my little dorito
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
