Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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