Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
