Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
