Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
