The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
