I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
