Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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