can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
