someone owes me an orgasm
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
