I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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