Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
