The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
