after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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