Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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