and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
