I must be too annoying 4 u.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
