Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
well you can't waste a boner
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
