I can feel you judging me through the phone.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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