Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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