You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
