are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
