What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
