well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
