This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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