I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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