I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
