You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
