I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
