Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
