walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
