jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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